Amber Updates

Well, school starts on Wednesday, so once again I will back to balancing my life and making a pretty busy schedule work to my advantage/for me. :] I have Fridays completely off and most of the day Tuesdays, which I guess I will use to catch up on any homework I don't do. This year I'm determined to make the most of college and of all my classes and get good grades. Well, right now I have a 3.7 which I worked hard for so I'm determined to keep it or raise it.

I remember this time last year, I was so nervous and scared. I felt like such a dork, haha. Even though it's just Schoolcraft, I had kind of a hard time adjusting and basically hated the school and all of my classes for the fall semester, which sucked. I remember when Monday morning came and I had to get up and start the school week all over again, I almost wanted to cry. But luckily after that semester I got used to balancing homework, going to class, working and doing my own stuff so I was much happier. And I learned what worked and didn't work as far as planning my schedule went. Last semester I had classes every day, so this time I learned to plan one day where I had the day off, so I chose Friday. =] Why not get an early start to the weekend?

So my schedule is:
Monday: Early American History- 9:3am-10:50am. Work 11:15-3pm. Political Science 6-9 or something haha.
Tuesday: Computer Information Services- 9:30-10:50am.
Weds: Early US History again. Work again. Abnormal Psych 5:30-8:30
Thursday: CIS again. Work.
Friday: Nada! :]

I have Early American History with Katie, I'm glad I have a class with her. I wish I had a class with Maegan, maybe we will take one together in the winter. =] I bought my books last Tuesday-432$. Ouchhhh. :/

In other news, Katie and I went on our mini vacation to Lexington Thursday to Friday and I think we both had a pretty good time. I got some beautiful pictures out of it, if I do say so myself. :P It was nice to hang out with her, we haven't done anything like that in a long time.

The picture at the beginning of my post is one that I took of the Ambassador Bridge when we went to Port Huron/Lexington. I feel really confident about my photography right now, not arrogant, just confident, like I've gotten better at it than I was when I started. It takes a lot to make me feel "confident" about anything that I do because I don't have a lot of faith in the things I do. I love photography, it's something that makes me truly happy and content and I wish that I could make a career out of it. But I'm someone who needs stability and to know what's coming or up ahead in life, so unfortunately if following my passion isn't going to absolutely pay the bills when I'm older than I can't do it. It kind of kills me a little, though. =/

When It's All Over...

So, I'm kinda sad today, for like a pretty dumb reason, but basically, as most of you know, little stuff gets to me a lot of the time. It's just kind of...me.

Another reason I'm sad is yep you guessed it: school. OK, it's time to be June 6. [Commencement! :>D] I HATE HATE HATE all classes except lunch and LMC. math needs to just die. spanish is trying to kill me. couldn't tell you why. mr. foster is Chicken Little. Law is boring. UGH. im like...stuck in this rut.

And everybody keeps pushing me to go to Prom, which...like I want to go, I do, to be with Maegan, and Larry and all of my friends and stuff for one of our last big things before Graduation, but I've never been a big dance person. it's not really me.

plus im really antsy about next year, and like, the rest of my life. I've been experimenting around with the idea of being a doctor which like, is scaring the hell out of me. I thought I had everything figured out: Scraft next year, hospital program, and BOOM career. But now I'm like...what if I could be a neurologist? What if I made it? I just [and this is cheesy, bear with me] don't want to have any regrets, and I don't want to look back and wonder if I could've made it. There's still a big part of me that doesn't think I'm smart enough, and there's an even bigger part of me that thinks I need some major confidence boosting abilities. I want to be happy more than anything.

And like I said, I used to think I'd stay here, where I've grown up by all my family, forever, but now that I'm almost[ish] 18, I'm starting to think maybe branching out would be good for me, and maybe even good for them. I'm starting to realize everyone needs change, and I'd like one [eventually]. Baby steps. So I'm thinking maybe next summer, not this coming up one, I might go stay in Chicago for the summer. Jimmy is there, and I always liked it there. I want to go to a big city, too, but I don't wanna go so far away as New York. I just, I'm excited just thinking about it. Being away from home, semi on my own, is so exciting to me, because I've never done it before, and I won't be going away to school next year.

It's not that I don't love my family and best friends, but I do need to, in a sense, grow up and learn to take care of myself. I think a summer away would be a good way to sort of do that. Of course I wouldn't do it without my mom's blessing, and without her knowing everything, and maybe even coming for a little bit. But it seems like something i need to do.

Idk, I just have SO many huge life changing decisions to make and I feel like I'm going to crack.